I had a bad weekend. Besides yesterday. I guess this part should have gone in yesterday’s entry, but it wouldn’t flow too well.
I went with Brandon and saw his friend again. They’re both contagious; something about those two… But, um, when it’s four o’clock on Sunday morning; when you’ve been occupying someone’s bed and get downstairs, and the person who normally sleeps in this bed asks, “how are you,” I don’t think, “I’ve been better,” is the answer they’re looking for. Especially when they have that little smile on their face…and then ask why. If he wasn’t Brandon’s friend, I’d tell him, but I don’t want to get too, um, honest I guess. Because he doesn’t want to hear it. Honestly, it has nothing to do with the “fun” or anything, just with one of the four things I like best about him. Wait, that shouldn’t be a problem, but it is. I tell him it’s a lot of stuff and hard to explain.
I get home, and I’m afraid I’d have a mom bitching at me. Luckily…she saved it for later that afternoon. I get to bed and all I can do is think. Mind you, I had been up for a full day and really, really wanted to get to bed. My thought mindlessly wandered. Until, I got really, really sick, then realized it was too late to find my trash basket.
Back out of bed, clean myself up, want to go to bed. And then I think I cried myself to sleep…
…because I don’t remember anything (who does?) from the time I put my head back on the pillow. I woke up five hours later, and my eyes are glued shut with the eye junk. Which means, yes, I must have cried, a lot.
I was sick all day yesterday. Only ate noodle soup/chicken broth and Sprite. My stomach was upset with everything that happened yesterday. I got sleep last night, but only after battling with my sobbing spell again. I don’t like it because I don’t feel like “me” when it happens.
I finally got some “answers” today; it was the first day of the new counseling. And I guess there’s a name for what I might “have.” Something called adjustment disorder with anxiety and depression. Now, that’s a mouthful. But as she explained it, very easy to treat since it’s not the kind of depression/anxiety that’s been “stuck in me” for years. The only thing I don’t like is having to wait another two weeks for an appointment. But I’ll cope, somehow.
I’ve decided where I want to go for my birthday! My mom and I are going to drive to Corpus Christi, Texas, in late July. The only thing we have to do is make contact with my uncle, who lives in the area. Our hotel of choice will depend on where my uncle lives. Communicating with my uncle isn’t as easy as it sounds. We don’t know where he lives, and we don’t know where he works, except that he is waiting tables at one of the many Pizza Huts the city has.
This will be my third visit. The first visit was the summer between seventh and eighth grades, and the second was shortly after my sixteenth birthday.
Oh, how could I, or anyone, forget our first visit? This was one of those “spur-of-the-moment” decisions my parents made, and the trip wasn’t fun, but extremely interesting, to say the least. (This was the trip I wrote a multiple-page personal essay on.) You know, the one that ended up us having a marathon ride back home because of some many problems with the van? I’d share more, but this is a story that should be told on it’s own…
My second visit wasn’t fun, either. Mainly because my uncle’s friend’s car broke down and we couldn’t go to the beach or anything. Mostly stayed in his apartment…and did nothing except eat authentic Mexican food (courtesy of his roommate) and watch some television. And I’ll never forget that spokeswoman who kept saying “We guarantee it!” like, “wee gear-in tee it?” Maybe someone from the area knows what/who I’m talking about…