A Recent Birthday

I recently had a birthday. I received happy birthday wishes from the “important” people in my life minus that of my husband (until 30 minutes before midnight).  Shocking, I know.  The day was spent trying to fix an apartment stove followed by a two and a half hour wait at the North Carolina DMV office waiting for my license to be transferred.  While I was waiting in line, my husband walked across the parking lot and a driver nearly ran him over.  The person who almost ran him over was getting a behind-the-wheel test.  Needless to say, they failed and cried to mommy.  I knew that I’d make my husband’s night when I told him this!

(Birthday “dinner” at IHOP was horrible and I’m never eating at the one on Woodlawn.)

I’ve been back in North Carolina for just under a week.  I left my husband a second time on impulse, you could say.  I had a lousy week in Florida and I realized the grass isn’t greener on the other side.  Empathy can be a curse, like my last entry said.  I’m finding it very difficult to tell Jason that I don’t want a relationship with him.  This might be impossible at this point, but I’d like to remain friends.  I can’t tell him this because I care a lot about how others feel, and I know that giving him this “news” will really upset him.  (It will also upset him if I lead him on, and I can’t decide which is worse.)  Jason thinks I’m back in Minnesota living with my parents.  He does not know that I am working things out with my husband.

Will the constant removal of Real ID, not talking on Skype, absent text messages tell him the obvious?

The stars were trying to tell me something when my unemployment didn’t go through: Amanda does not belong in Florida.

I don’t know what I want.

I have two amazing friends who tell me what I need to hear, offer support, listen, and are overall the two most honest and caring people I’ve met.  Well, I’ve met one and will probably never meet the other and I am perfectly fine with that.  I made a comment to my husband that I’d like him to meet the friend I met in Charlotte, just so my husband can feel more secure about our relationship.  I can’t introduce my husband to my other friend since my husband has a mindset that it isn’t possible to be friends with someone that you’ve never met face-to-face.  I owe one a great big hug and the other…a virtual hug I guess?

I want to be this happy again.  I’m getting there.  Slowly, but faster than I expected.

And no, I have not been in a creative mood and therefore have not done anything with the site.


I’m getting married on Saturday. I never though the day would come; time moves too slowly! Now I’m so excited I can’t sleep. I am putting together the last details (music, favors, place cards) and then the planning is finally over… and the big day comes.

My uncle is coming up from way southern Texas on Wednesday (that’s tomorrow!). Wow, I’m so excited to meet people I’ve never seen in a long time. A friend from high school is coming to the wedding. I sent an invitation and wasn’t sure if she would show up because she waited until the very last minute to respond. My mom was going to make it a surprise, but I noticed her name on the list when I was going through final counts.

After the wedding I plan on going on a mini vacation near Albany, New York. I’ll spend three nights at the hotel, plus the two overnights from driving. I’m excited for the vacation too that I might not even need the overnight of rest. But I’ll be safe, I promise.

I’m so excited I can’t even write a good entry…I’m like a kid in a candy store!

Not Enough Time

Did I tell you I’m getting married to my sweetheart?

My parents are hosting our wedding, so I’ve been running back and forth between the two houses to share information and exchange ideas. My working nights is becoming a burden during wedding planning. I need to go look at tuxedos, meet with the chapel planner, and meet with a caterer. I’m always sleeping until early evening, outside normal business hours. I don’t want to sacrifice sleep for getting things done. It always seems like the one day I decide to get up in the afternoon, for whatever reason, I end up having a work day from hell.

I’ve found my dress. I got it off an Internet website since it’s extremely hard to find wedding dresses in extended sizes that are in-stock. Rob and I first thought about having a small wedding in Vegas, but Rob’s mom thought it was too hard for everyone to gather far from home. That’s why we planned for a Thanksgiving weekend wedding, when prices are [interestingly] low. Now we have a wedding booked at the chapel the Saturday before Thanksgiving. This way we can nab some deals on hotels in our dream vacation spot that isn’t Japan.

Our reception is being held in an executive center of Mall of America that overlooks the park. We were told that the catering menu is fabulous. However, after staring at the menus for over two weeks, everyone is in agreement that the menus appeal to business-like venues instead of weddings. We’re allowed to bring our own wedding cake from outside sources, and when my mom voice concerns about the menu choices and went unanswered, it dawned on us that they probably haven’t catered a wedding before. Somehow I think it is going to be disastrous.

About two weeks ago, I gave the car back to my parents and had my dad co-sign my loan so I could get a better rate. I bought a 2007 Saturn Vue…green…pretty much fully loaded. Excellent price and low miles. I ran out of my first tank of gas because my gas gauge wasn’t reading properly and didn’t signal off the low level light. Hopefully I’ll be able to get that repaired shortly.