The Staycation

Staycation.  Its meaning is simple; a short getaway near one’s home.  After hubby’s medical procedure, his time off work was getting to both of us.  We were bored and were going stir-crazy.  By Thursday afternoon I felt like I was ready to pull my hair out.  After dinner that night I became stressed from a lot of overthinking, perhaps, and told hubby things that I haven’t explained to him.  This “oversharing” and telling him my feelings and what’s on my mind are making our relationship stronger.  I’m still working to gain his trust; I don’t expect it to happen overnight.

The loss of trust because I fucked up.  Halfway.

Therapy is going well but is getting rather expensive due to not being covered by insurance.  I am getting to the root of my problems.  In early November I was ready to stop going to my sessions because it became too painful.  Discussing very private topics, with a man, no less, can be embarrassing.  But I see my therapist as helping me very much and I plan to continue to go to my sessions.  During the last session I had last week, I mentioned that I was depressed.  A few weeks before that I was feeling on top of the world.  My therapist suggested I call my psychiatric nurse practitioner to see if my medications can be changed before my appointment, which is on Friday.  I was told nothing could be done and that if I had an emergency to go to the hospital.  My therapist and I are disappointed this route was taken.

How do I know I’m in a very low place right now?  I don’t have any motivation.  I don’t feel like doing anything that I usually enjoy.  I don’t feel like talking to people.  I, however, managed to do the dishes and I made a spaghetti dinner.

Beep Beep Here Comes the Jeep

I woke up to a temperature of 47 degrees.  It feels WONDERFUL.  If it gets too warm in a car, most people turn off the heat.  I prefer to roll down the window.  That’s one of the many stereotypical things Minnesotans do.

Since July, I’ve rented a Kia that smelled like smoke, a Chevy Malibu, a Toyota 4 Runner, and Jeep Compass.  I’m leasing hubby’s co-worker’s Jeep Wrangler until the car is fixed.  It took a call and letter to the SC Department of Insurance to get the insurance companies to figure out their shit.  One company has decided 70% liability but the other refuses the remainder.  Apparently being stopped at a stop sign makes me 30% at fault for the accident.  Whatever.  I said fuck it and am starting the repairs on the CX-5 since I want my own car back.

Don’t tell anyone:  I really enjoy driving the Cherokee despite my actions or words.

I recently reunited with an acquaintance from high school who I haven’t spoken to in two years.  It is really nice to talk again.  Everything is very natural; it’s like we just talked the other day as we picked up where we last left off.

Listener

My primary physician took her time and actually LISTENED to my concerns. The clinic is never on-time, but after today’s visit I decided having a wonderful doctor is “worth the wait.” My doctor has given me medication to help my pain and has referred me to an orthopedic doctor for my knee since she says there is something “definitely wrong” with it.
 
In other news, my car insurance company has been great after the accident (two weeks ago). However, the insurance of the two others involved need to stop dragging their feet.  I hate driving the rental, a Toyota 4Runner.  I want my car repaired and returned.  I want everything to be resolved before my trip home; my much-needed vacation.