The Move

Let’s count them: the number of times I’ve moved since I met my spouse.

1. I “moved” from my parents’ house to his apartment shortly after we were dating.  You know, the move that starts with keeping a toothbrush and a few necessities at your significant other’s place.  One way to his heart was through my cooking so I hit up the local thrift store and purchased some tools required for cooking that he didn’t own.  Eventually I just stopped sleeping my parents’ house and lived exclusively at his apartment.

2. The first day of my job at Target HQ, we moved from the apartment to a condo he purchased.  By this time, my parents realized I was in a serious relationship and decided it was time to purchase my own vehicle.  After working for a few months, my dad co-signed a loan for my Vue.

3. Pre-2008 happened.  My now spouse ended up in financially hard times and was forced into foreclosure.  I am thankful for my parents letting us live in their basement.  This was right before we were married, and one of the most stressful moments of our relationship.  The job I took at Target HQ was third shift and taking my now spouse to job interviews and work was stressful on my sleeping patterns.  Not to mention there wasn’t much privacy (and thank goodness my uncle was not in the picture at the time).

4. In late 2010 job prospects were not so great for my spouse, so he was invited to live with “friends” in North Carolina.  We didn’t really discuss it in detail so I let him move for what I thought would be a temporary length of time.  My reasoning at the time was that I didn’t think he would find work.  He did, and  moved into an apartment he found in North Carolina in early 2011.  The non-discussion is what made me have deep feelings of resentment that I recently dealt with.  (Resentment, I swallowed that pill and waited for him to die.)

5. Living in the city came with some drawbacks.  It seemed like guns would go off at the same time each week, even being heard in the background of one of the podcasts my spouse regularly records.  We decided to move to the other side of the state line, where crime rates were much lower, but came at the cost of a longer commute due to suburban sprawl.

6. We moved from one apartment community to another since the owners decided to nickel and dime for everything.  Greedy fuckers.

7. Here we are now, back in the city limits proper.  It puts my spouse much closer to work.

Seven moves in twelve years.  Can we be done for a while?

This community seems to be pretty descent.  There’s no major crime, just the petty stuff like vandalism and property theft.  Renter’s insurance went down, to my surprise.  There is a grocery store across the road, Amazon has same-day delivery, food delivery from GrubHub and DoorDash is available here, and perhaps what sealed the deal for my spouse was the availability of fiber.  (No monopoly either — three providers to choose from, which we chose Google.  We live in a “fiberhood.”)

A few nuisances I have found with the apartment unit so far include drafty windows (hopefully solved with curtains); deep tubs (I stubbed my foot getting in and while deep is nice, I need the width too); child-height toilets (I got used to the extra few inches in the last apartment); the island in the kitchen has no power outlets, forcing me to make toast or use whatever appliance on either side of the stove; and the cabinet space above the fridge is literally unusable (I can’t reach the handle to open it, let alone grab anything that would be put up there).

I love being on the first floor.  The perk there is hardwood-style flooring throughout, except for the bedrooms.  The kitchen is newly renovated.  All the appliances are stainless steel, the countertops are granite, and the walls have a glass tile backsplash.  I love the undermounted sink; it makes cleaning the counters a breeze.  Not to mention, I can actually fit a roasting pan in the sink and wash it all in one go.  There’s a disposal in the sink and the dishwasher isn’t a piece of crap.  The top rack is deep enough to hold glasses all while being able to close the dishwasher properly.  The outdoor patio is large enough to buy a table and chairs and still have room to be comfortable.  The decks above are solid concrete so no need to worry about neighbors watering their plants!  And the best thing?  There’s only one apartment touching our walls, and it’s above us!

We haven’t been here for not even three nights and these are the love-hates I’ve found so far.  There’s still a lot to unpack and there’s still a lot of time to pass before I feel like this place will looked “lived in.”  The move went smoothly and I’m happy for it being done with.


Things have gotten a bit better for me.  A major concern with a job change would be the lapse in health insurance.  It was decided to pay out of pocket for COBRA for myself only, which would result in no lapse of coverage and be cheaper than buying a short-term plan from the marketplace.  I was worried about finding a way to afford my insulin and anti-psychotic (which, I did the math, is $40.76 a pill).  Now that the worry about how to pay for my medications and doctor visits is no longer an issue, I feel a sense of relief and the majority of my anxiety is gone.

The spouse was invited over to his former co-worker’s house to watch UFC on Saturday night.  I took a long nap during the day so I would be able to stay awake the entire night.  We decided to order BBQ for pick-up, but the traffic for the theme park was at a stand still.  I moved 250 feet in traffic in about 30 minutes, decided to “screw it,” found a gap in traffic and made it to the house.  I then called in a pizza order for delivery, but was quoted two hours, so I decided to not be lazy and went to pick it up.  I had Alfredo pasta with chicken, mushrooms, and broccoli.  The side salad was also delicious and I forgot how good the house-made blue cheese dressing is!  The host was very nice, offering me a beer and marijuana, which I declined because it’s probably not the best choice to make while in the middle of applying for a job within the county/police department.  Guys are gross.  But that’s OK because I felt like I fit in.  I tried holding a conversation with someone’s wife and it was about shoes, shopping, and spa day.  I couldn’t care less about any of those things.  And I heard many stories about my spouse at his old work and OH MY GOSH, that boy needs to think before he speaks!  Of course, he says the stories are embellished, but I already know about the sausage-dick jokes, so I’m sure the stories are not too far off from the truth.

I had my psychiatrist appointment this morning.  The new doctor was a lot more welcoming.  I am apprehensive about completely coming off my current medication and going to a single medication to treat manic episodes only, but I trust their decision based upon them going through my complete history.  The doctor genuinely believes I’ve been in a low mood due to the major life events that have happened within the past two weeks, and that my manic episodes are mixed, is a good sign that this new treatment might work well for me.  I will have the added benefit of it being inexpensive and less possibility of weight gain and diabetic side-effects.

Last thing, I think this drive to the new work might kill me.  I’m going to need to find something to do, if not work, until the move because this new drive can suck it.  Still looking: which is the worst intersection on this commute?  I’ve never looked forward to moving, until now.