It’s kind of amazing how thoughts can change overnight.  My main concern hasn’t changed.

Now I’m starting to realize some people who said they care about me don’t.

I had a former friend visit me in my dream last night.  I feel incredibly guilty for saying this:  the experience was more than wonderful.  Amazing.  I’m not sure if that word is good enough to use.  I feel guilty because that’s what I want but I can’t have it.  Distance makes it impossible right now.  When I return home and IF I had a chance to meet this person, there is NO WAY things would end up like they did in my dream.

Timing couldn’t be worse.  I’m so confused with feelings at this point I’m having a hard time writing in my personal journal that I share with my therapist.

Today I want to run away.  A short run away to the airport overlook.  Airplanes are loud but I find the experience of watching them take off and land relaxing.

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